Friday, June 29, 2012

Beating the summer (or office) heat

It's no secret that I hate the heat. 5 days of 100+ degree weather and a sometimes-functioning air conditioner at the office makes for a cranky and sweaty girl. Luckily my office has a pretty lax dress code that allows for skirts and tank tops -- But what are your options when you work in a suit and tie office that heats up to 90 degrees by 2pm? 

1. Layer
Summer Layers for the Office

Staying within office dress code, start in the morning with layers -- Each of which is office appropriate. A skirt, lightweight silk blouse, cotton blazer, and scarf allow for maximum outfit  versatility. Oh, and going light on the accessories and wearing your hair in a chic bun will save you some discomfort. 

2. Stay away from synthetics
We've all seen the ads about how cotton is the fabric of our lives. In the summer, we should all take that to heart. Natural fibers BREATHE. You know why? Because they aren't PLASTIC! Synthetic fabrics like rayon don't allow for proper air circulation and trap heat between you and your clothes. This makes you hotter so you sweat more. Major ew. If you can avoid them, ditch the synthetics on super hot days and stick to cotton, silk, and lightweight wool. 

3. Keep a spare shirt in your office
Big meetings always seem to happen right after you get some major schmutz on your shirt or you've been roasting in your cubicle for 4 hours. My advice? Stock up on some reinforcements. A sleek white oxford will go with most anything -- or at least it will get you through the rest of the day. Go with something wrinkle-free because chances are no one will have an ironing board in the board room. My favorite wrinkle-free options are from Eddie Bauer and Banana Republic 

When all else fails, ask your boss if you can work remotely in the comfort of a 68 degree Starbucks. Your wardrobe is too fabulous to be ruined by icky sticky sweat. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Tarts and Tiaras 2: Pretty Women

It's pageant time! This really has very little to do with fashion. Honestly, I'm just writing so I can post pictures of my favorite toddler with a tiara, Alana: 

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And only 10 years ago, these girls were drinking their go-go juice, wearing false teeth, and being forced to wear more makeup than a Friday night hooker. From the looks of tonights talent pool, not much has changed. I kid! I kid! Onto the show!

8:02 Oh holy Lord. These girls look as tragic as runway set they found in the Circus Circus dumpster.

8:03 At least the actors in the “front row” are clearly Julliard trained.

8:04 So now they’re all Madonna with dream catcher earrings? What happened to the cheap hats?

8:05 Not even Kesha is amused by this trash.

8:06 Laura Taylor Lordeen? Miss OK has my vote for the name alone. Her bang-fierceness just sends her OTT. Best in Show!

8:07 What’s the age limit on this thing? TX looks seriously haggard.

8:08 They seriously couldn’t find a tailor for these dresses? C’mon Trump.

8:09 The Black Keys are playing with Johnny Depp on the MTV Movie whatevers. This takes precedence over everything in life. Fun fact: Little Sis and I saw the Black Keys open for Beck almost 10 years ago. I love when great bands get the love they deserve. And when their drum kit is glitter-rainbow striped. Shmamazeballs.

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8:12 Another concert fun fact: I grabbed Joe Perry’s arm at an Aerosmith show. 

8:15 Back to the disaster at hand. Hahaha Shana Moakler!

8:15 For the record, I think anyone would rather have a son play in the Super Bowl than to compete in this slapped together mess. At least those guys get paid and have some type of usable skill.

8:17 FYI: Graduating from Auburn with a 3.5 GPA is like graduating from a Detroit public high school with a 1.5.

8:18 Oklahomo is in! That’s my girl!

8:19 RI is a stunner, too. I’m getting some Minka Kelly vibes. Or Leighton Meester? Same diff.

8:21 NV is toooootes a future (current?) stripper. I can see it in her dead eyes. Same goes for 95% of the other contestants.

8:26 I don’t think these “judges” are at all qualified to determine the fate/future of themselves let alone a young girl’s. It’s like NBC called everyone on their payroll and all they could get was a Jonas Brother, a former Bachelorette, and some Apprentice losers.

8:33 How horrid does Love in the Wild look?

8:34 Oooooh loving G’s second dress!

8:36 This is horrible. I don’t know if I’m going to make it through this train wreck.

8:37 Jeanie Mai: You don’t get nice legs from teaching deaf kids how to ride horses. Teaching blind kids does. Duh.

8:40 I thought Cobra Starship was a real band. What’s with the man-pris?

8:43 Miss AK looks like she smells like hair bleach and fake tanner.

8:44 I think I’m the only person watching this disaster of a show. Leave me a comment if you actually tuned in and watched this thing live.

8:52 I’m SHOCKED no one has eaten it yet in their platforms. I miss messes like this: 

8:53 Miss NV could easily charge double for her lap dances if she wins this.

9:00 The introductions!

9:01 Alabama = Dull, OK = Anne Hathaway (aka dull), Ohio = delusional, Georgia = Loveable dork, Texas = I can’t hate on a girl talking about her memaw, Colorado = Got her earrings in Queens, NY, Jersey = J Woww, Maryland = Conceited, Rhode Island = Stalker, Nevada = Stripper

9:05 hahahaha the rejects have to be fake statues! OH they’re pissed!

9:06 I totally would have pulled a Showgirls sabotage.
9:06 Why are they walking so slow? OK’s dress is BEYOND for a pageant gown.

9:08 GA is giving me shades of Toni Braxton.

9:08 TX is giving me shades of her bits and pieces.

9:10 Jersey went all out at Love Culture!

9:10 RI you look like a moron. Stop playing with your dress.

9:11 How nice was Floyd Mayweather to lend her one of his boxing belts while he’s in the pokey!

9:16 G’s dress looks scratchy.

9:17 Fun fact: Miss MD is actually Cynthia from the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

9:18 So Oklahomo is out. I guess I’m all about Miss Georgia now.

9:20 “I admire Angie Jo because she’s a self-righteous fame whore like me.”

9:30 I think the goal should be to become a You Tube sensation. It worked out pretty well for Katie Upton

9:33 Rhode Island: I like you. Maryland: You’re 7 feet tall and you scare me.

9:34 Andy Cohen: I love you for the “go-go juice” plug.

9:35 A) Pretty Woman is 20 years old. B) She was a hooker. There’s no profession more degrading to women. C) In the end, she was “saved” by a rich guy. Ohio, I hate to say it but that was the worst movie to bring up and you’re a moron.

9:44 Is performing here part of Akon’s community service?

9:46 Oh, Ohio. Fun fact: After tonight, she’ll be just like Julia Roberts’s character in Pretty Woman minus the quirky roommate, rich “John,” and happy herp-free ending.

9:53 Nice Marchesa knock-off, soon to be Miss Nobody! I do like her hair color a lot better, now, though.

9:56 Georgia is out so that leaves RI as my girl!

9:56 NV: Back to the Spearmint Rhino for you!

9:57 No surprise here: Ohio’s riding her yellow short bus dress back to Columbus.

9:59 Blah blah blah Miss Rhode Island won. Cue the mascara tears and fumbling to get the crown pinned on and the sash straight. I like this girl, though. She’s giving me Sarah Shahi and I like her.

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10:00 And there you have it! The future Real Housewives of America! Goodnight and God help us all. 

Duchess Katherine at the Queen's Jubilee: Absolute Perfection!

My Royal Family obsession is being fueled by the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. 

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Only one word can describe Duchess Katherine's ensemble today: S.T.U.N.N.I.N.G. Kate could probably wear sweats from the K-Mart clearance bin and still look like a slice of British perfection but I think we're all glad she went with this bright red Alexander McQueen dress, sensible LK Bennett nude heels, and a Lock & Co. hat. Although she was on a boat in the rain for two hours watching every boat in all of Great Britain toot by, her hair stayed perfectly curled and her makeup never smudged. Oh, to be a princess! 

Kimmy K has actually wore the same dress but it just looked blegh on her. She (of course) shortened it, over accessorized, and it was 3 sizes too small. But enough about that nasty trollop and back to the princess of grace and beauty! 

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How beyond is her Lock & Co. hat?! Or is it a fascinator? Either way, I wants. In celebration of the Jubilee, my co-worker and I will be sporting our fanciest fascinators on Tuesday. Pictures to be posted here and on Twitter! Oh, and Prince Harry (aka Prince Hot Ginge) and his bro were the picture of royalty.
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And while this post is all about Duchess Kate, I must say that the Queen looked fabulous, too. I have a soft spot for her because she looks like my Granny when she smiles ;) 

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Oh, and we can't forget about our favorite non-royal royal Pippa. Her jacket looks Queen-approved and is a bit of a snooze fest. (Maybe it's because Kate asked her sis to not embarrass her?) But considering the crappy London weather, I'll let this one slide. Oh, and how adorbs is her brosef?!

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There are more celebrations and stuff Monday and Tuesday. Being in the States there isn't too much news coverage so I'll be glued to BBC America. Keep checking back for more fancy pants pics and posts about the world's most famous family! 

Melissa, the Shop Therapist