Monday, February 27, 2012

The Oscars: 2012's awards season finale!

First of all, who invited Caroline in the City?? Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman was there, too. I mean, for serious, wtf? And Diddy? Just go home. You’re ridiculous.

Ok, now onto the fun stuff. I was tempted to include the Vanity Fair Oscar Party red carpet in this mess of hot and not, but this is just for the big show. So sorry, TV stars and musicians! Make room for real movie stars:

2012 Academy Awards Best Dressed
Oscar Gowns 10-2

10. Ellie Kemper in Armani Prive (Great hair, great color, great fit. For being a non-nominee, she looked exactly perfect.)
9. Natalie Portman in Vintage Dior Haute Couture 1954 Collection (I love me some polka dots! Some people are saying this is too similar to what she wore last year, but I really don’t think so. I love the silhouette and color on her. She wasn’t too overdone and knew how to do it right.)
8. Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture (I want to LOVE love her gown. Truly I do. I’m trying to love the turtleneck bow SO HARD and really, it’s growing on me. The only flaw I can find is that her makeup just didn’t go.)
7. Rooney Mara in Givenchy (Those bangs! Other than her iron curtain of bangs, she looks faboosh. Cheers for rocking the small bubbies! She did Givenchy proud – plus she didn’t wear black! YAY!)
6. Judy Greer in Monique Lhuillier (In all honesty, I don’t think I’ve seen a single nominated film aside from The Help so I didn’t know why JG was there until I saw a clip of The Descendants. Being a non-nominee and non-presenter, Judy looked 100% perfect. Sure this dress may come off as plain and boring, but there’s something about it that was entirely perfect and absolutely beautiful.)
5.  Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen (FINALLY she did something right. And really, you can’t go wrong in McQueen, imho. The hair was en pointe, too. Way to end awards season on a high note, Jess!)
4. Angelina Jolie in Versace (Yes, that was A LOT of leg but it was a goooood leg. She rocked that dress like she was working for a sandwich. And did you see the back? She knows that she’s so amazeballs that she can get away with joorey on the back.)
3. Milla Jovovich in Elie Saab (The supermodel-turned-actress was fresh to death in a gown from this season’s most killer couture show. Bernice Bejo totes missed out on this gem.)
2. Giuliana Rancic in Tony Ward (Relegated to some place off the carpet, G has never looked better. Her hair was severe, but it was a nice change from her yards and yards of magic hair. She managed to turn this delicate dress out and show up some of young Hollywood’s hottest chicks.)

Oscars Best Dressed: Michelle Williams

1. Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton (MUAH! 150% perfect. Louis Vuitton is obvi known for luggage and handbags and has been universally panned for their shoes and gowns. So when I heard MW’s dress was by LV, I was a little shocked. It had more of a Dior feel. Either way, Michelle had one AH-maaaazing red carpet moment. Losing to Meryl Streep has never looked so good.)
Honorable Mentions: Best Dressed
  • Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji (The same dress and silhouette we’ve seen her in for ever awards show, but this is by far the best fit, cut, and color.)
  • Viola Davis in Vera Wang (Good color on her but her bubbage is confusing. I don’t know else to put it. I love the dress, but the fit on her isn’t ideal.)
  • Rose Byrne in Vivienne Westwood (Simple and understated. Love.)
  • Melanie Griffith in Yves Saint-Laurent (I know, I know. She’s getting the crazy face and her saggy arm tattoo is grody but she looks good!)
  • Cameron Diaz in Gucci (Put together and classy. Snaps to you, Cami.)
  • Kelly Osbourne in Badgley Mishka (One of my new red carpet favs to watch.)
2012 Academy Awards Worst Dressed
2012 Academy Awards Worst Dressed 10-2

10. Sacha Baron Cohen (Ugh. His stunt queen moves are getting tired. Nothing much else to say except that I’m bored and no one should wear their movie costume on a red carpet.)  
9. Glenn Close in Zac Posen (I know she’s a woman of a certain age, but she should know by now how not to look like the mother-of-the-bride.)
8. Bernice Bejo in Elie Saab (I know sleeves are in, but this would have been SO much better on Meryl Streep)
7.  Lara Spencer (I can’t find the designer.) (Not only is she super annoying and double boobing with just one boob (confounding, I know), but she’s also a very unappealing shade of orange. I feel bad for the designer who loaned her the gown because it’s going to come back all Kardashianed with self tanner.)
6. Melissa Leo in Reem Acra (Dropping the f-bomb on live TV is surely the fastest way to my heart, but not even that can make me forgive her for this mess.)
5. Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad (Hey, stunt queen: Falcon Crest isn’t being remade, right?)
4. Kristen Wiig in J. Mendel (WEAR A COLOR!!!! I’m so sick of this nonsense. SCORSESE!)
3. Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture (This dress ages her entirely too much. Another dress on a young girl that Meryl would have rocked so much better.)
2. Anna Faris in Diane von Furstenberg (Nothing about her works. Not her hair, dress, personality, or acting ability. She’s just a walking blow-up doll in a too-tight black sequin dress. Next!)
2012 Academy Awards Worst Dressed: Meryl Streep

1. Meryl Streep in Lanvin (Ughhhhh at the G Globes, it was a gray trash bag so I guess gold is an upgrade? In the grand scheme of things, talent is what matters so congrats to Mer on her big win but it kills me that she wore this dress.)

Honorable Mentions: Worst Dressed
  • Louise Roe in Black Halo (This looks like it was stolen from the set of Big Business. A film favorite, but not for its fashions.)
  • Penelope Ann Miller in Badgley Mischka (Too tight and a tired silhouette)
  • Missi Pyle in Valentino Delfino (Double boobing like woah.)
  • Stacey Kiebler Elf in Marchesa (Nothing much to say but I’m craving cinnamon rolls now. I don’t know why people are so jazzy about this dress. To me, it’s just meh.)

Honestly, I'm glad awards season is over. I'm exhausted. I love the gowns and compiling my lists, but really, I'm SO ready to get back to advice and stuff. 

Anyhoozelbeez, once again, a million thanks to for the pics! Thanks for reading and come back for more therapy sessions ;)
Melissa, The Shop Therapist

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