Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Grammys: music's big fug night

By default, even before the Grammys began, I bestow my award for best everything award to the Foo Fighters. And my future husband award goes Dave Grohl. He looked adorbs and straight out of Almost Famous. Definitely Golden God material. The rest of the boys look fabulous, too. L.O.V.E. But why were they relegated to a tent in the parking lot? Lamesauces. Don’t get me started on them letting Maroon 5 in the building. I just can’t.

Photo courtesy loudwire.com

Anyhoozelbeez, enough of my Foo Fighters love fest. The red carpet was full of the sads and stunt queens. Here are my honorable mentions, best, and worst of the evening!


2012 Grammys Best Dressed

10. Alicia Keys in Alexandre Vauthier: It’s structured and futuristic. She’d be higher on the list if I didn’t think she was a Kardashian at first.
9. Jessie J in Julien Macdonald: Mostly I’m just glad she’s not wearing a jumpsuit. Really, this is the only place you could wear a dress like this. It kinda reminds me of JLo’s dress from the 2011 Grammys.
8. Sasha Gradiva in Leonid Gurevich: Trick be crazy and I love crazy! I’ve never heard of her but now I know who she is. This is stunt queen done right.
7. Carrie Underwood in Gomez-Garcia: The dress may be a little old on her but it fits her absolutely perfectly – and you know if there’s anything I love more than glitter it’s perfect tailoring.
6. Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward: Once again this rock princess looks like a million bucks. I’m loving this look head to toe. Her lavender hair is such a huge step up from her faux gray ickyness.
5. Taylor Swift in Zhair Murad: She bugs me like no other but her McQueen-esque gown is MAY-jor. The high neck and the cap sleeves make me want to like her, that’s how amazing it is. I just wish she had traded hair with Paris Hilton.
4. Bruno Mars in Tom Brown: My first ever best-dressed dude. He may be a midge nugget but his Gap Kids tux is working like woah tonight.
3. Giuliana Rancic in George Chakra Couture: Black is a safe color but I think she rocked the gold metal belt so much better than Paris. G’s George Chakra short black gown was understated and beautiful. I just wish she would stop the extension nonsense. Loving the color, though.
2. Paris Hilton in Basil Sota: I want her to go away and this pains me to have her in my best-dressed list but her dress, hair (DYING for her bun/braid/chignon), and makeup were perfection. I’m just not 100% sold on her gold belt. It breaks up the lines of the dress and I don’t know how I feel about that.
Fabulous. Simply Fabulous. 
1. Rihanna in Armani: Nothing to say but DAYUM! The only thing that kills me in a bad way is her hair. Too much frizz, not enough style. The dress was so sleek and stunning but her hair was killing me. It’s a good thing that her Armani was so unreal because it totally canceled out her hair disaster. And as my mom put it “at least she doesn’t look like Sideshow Bob!” Agreed.

2012 Grammys Worst Dressed

10. Miranda Lambert in Pavoni: Britney killed it when she wore the pants/top version of this nude/crystal gown at the ’99 VMAs. Miranda? Not as fabulous. And her big country hair didn’t do her any favors. She’s adorable and has a great personality (her Behind the Music is a must-see) and deserves a look that’s on-trend.
9. Skylar Grey in Thomas Wylde: I like the lace dress, I love the shoes, but this look is just too casual. Her dark lips don’t bother me but her hair does. It looks grimy. Not the best way to introduce yourself to the world.
8. Ledisi in (something sparkly and ill fitting): Nice dress but omg find a tailor! Fitting the top would have done her WONDERS! Instead of sad pancakes, she could have had happy bubbies!
7. Bonnie McKee in Falguni & Shane Peacock: Nope. Your stunt queen move didn’t work. I would say try again but I doubt we’ll see or hear from her again. The bleachey red hair and ridic (in a bad way) dress are just messy. Her armpits look like horse tails. Blegh.
6. Anne V in Anthony Vacarello: We don’t want to see your V. Pack it up and cover it up.
5. Kelly Rowland in Alberta Feretti: It looks like a beige version of Halle Berry’s famous Oscar dress. Basically Kelly is a beige version of Halle Berry so I guess her dress was perfect?
4. Katy Perry in Elie Saab: Blue hair? Love. Blue dress? Better suited for Betty White. Elie Saab’s recent collections have been BEYOND but why she chose this gown is beyond me. She should have walked the red carpet in the gold Gucci gown she wore post-performance.
3. Nikki Minaj in Versace: Future stunt queens take note: leave this business to Lady Gaga. Gaga has taken the stunts to a whole other level so Nikki had to get the Pope on board to get people talking. While her Versace gown/hood combo was gorgeous, she ended up looking like an even more ridiculous version of herself. 
2. Fergie in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture: I get what you’re going for. If I couldn’t see your underpants, you would have made the other list. Between the traffic cone orange and the unflattering nakedness, I just have to look away.
Nope. I just can't. 
1. Robyn in Calvin Klein: I know she’s Swedish and stuff but that’s no excuse to wear Timberland creepers and a poorly constructed mullet dress.

Honorable Mentions:
Dave Grohl. Just because.
Lady Gaga in custom Versace. She wasn’t nominated for a bajillion awards so she didn’t walk the red carpet (I don’t think). She managed to look pretty without looking like a Mardi Gras float.
Malin Akerman in Cushnie et Ochs. I love her. She’s like a Polly Pocket.
Adele in Burberry. I want to see her in color SO bad! Her dress aged her a little but everything else was perfection.
Amber Rose in Versace. She gets major points just for being with someone other than Kanye West (even if his name is Whiz).
Corinne Bailey Rae in Christian Siriano. She’s so adorbs, but like Adele I would have liked to have seen her in a color. It’s the Grammys! A color would have made the details really pop on camera.
Cyndi Lauper in Jean Paul Gaultier: She’s like Debbie Harry. Cyndi can wear anything and I’ll at the very least be OK with it.
D’Manti in Falguni & Shane Peacock: I have no idea who this is but this girl has a killer bod and took a risk. Snaps to you, D’Manti.

Ok, so that’s just about wraps up my Grammy coverage. One last thing for you all to ponder: why is Kate Beckinsale at EVERY red carpet event? Is she dating a musician? And wasn’t she at the G Globes and the Emmys? Obvi she wasn’t nominated for any of these awards.

And another majorly huge thank you to JustJared.com for the pics!

Photo courtesy northjersey.com
Melissa, The Shop Therapist

Ps – My next purchase is totally Dave’s Slayer tee. So killer. Strike that – I just checked eBay and that same tee is selling for $400-800. Boo! 

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